{"id":30131,"date":"2021-04-27T13:20:49","date_gmt":"2021-04-27T11:20:49","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.ilgrandecolibri.com\/?p=30131"},"modified":"2021-04-27T13:20:49","modified_gmt":"2021-04-27T11:20:49","slug":"roma-and-gadji-the-love-story-of-two-women-united-in-matrimony","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.ilgrandecolibri.com\/en\/roma-and-gadji-the-love-story-of-two-women-united-in-matrimony\/","title":{"rendered":"Roma and Gadji: The Love Story of Two Women United in Matrimony"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>Sveta is 29 years old and lives in Chieri, Italy. Occasionally, she works as an online Russian teacher, volunteers at some Roma camps in Turin, and has started a fundraiser attempting to be as active as possible in this area, especially for <strong>LGBTQIA Romani<\/strong> (lesbian, gay, bisexual, trans, queer, intersex, and asexual). She likes to dance and travel: before COVID with his wife Chiara they traveled a lot. Sadly, now it is not possible to do so.<\/p>\n<p>Chiara is 24 years old, she is a sunny and outgoing woman. From time to time, she works at a butcher&#8217;s shop and the remaining time she helps her mother in Turin who is no longer self-sufficient. She loves cooking: it is her passion and often tries to recreate different dishes. Sveta and Chiara met in a gay club in Turin, they have been together for three years and have been married for two. Their stowaway dream is to have a family.<div class=\"sc-separator type-thin\"><\/div>\n<ul>\n<li><a href=\"https:\/\/www.ilgrandecolibri.com\/en\/we-multiracial-children-in-italy-and-black-lives-matter\/\">Read also: <strong>\u201cWe Multiracial Children in Italy and Black Lives Matter\u201d<\/strong><\/a><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p><strong>When did you both find out you were attracted to women?<\/strong><\/p>\n<p><em><strong>Sveta:<\/strong><\/em> Later in life, around 19. Or at least this is what I wanted to believe: I\u2019ve always tried to <strong>repress my orientation<\/strong>, I thought it was wrong and I questioned myself a lot until I finally accepted it.<\/p>\n<p><em><strong>Chiara:<\/strong><\/em> I\u2019ve been aware of it since I was 8 years old when <strong>I fell in love<\/strong> with another girl.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Have you come out to your families?<\/strong><\/p>\n<p><em><strong>Sveta:<\/strong><\/em> Yes, I was very anxious to tell my parents: I remember that at first, out of fear, I told them I was bisexual! <strong>They reacted quite well<\/strong>, I can&#8217;t say they were happy, but we haven&#8217;t talked about it anymore. Then I made up my mind and told them I was a lesbian. Their reaction was cold, they told me: \u201c<em>We couldn&#8217;t imagine, you never show any signs<\/em>.\u201d We didn\u2019t speak of it anymore. Then after I had a few experiences, they accepted it and now are aware of much more. Perhaps they used to have some stereotype in mind. Now I am married to Chiara and they consider her as a daughter. On the other hand, our relatives are divided: some accept me and understand without having to blatantly come out to them, with some others I simply no longer have a relationship.<\/p>\n<p><em><strong><img decoding=\"async\" loading=\"lazy\" class=\"aligncenter wp-image-22458 size-full\" src=\"https:\/\/www.ilgrandecolibri.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/05\/famiglia-bambini-solitudine.jpg\" alt=\"famiglia bambini solitudine\" width=\"900\" height=\"600\" srcset=\"https:\/\/www.ilgrandecolibri.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/05\/famiglia-bambini-solitudine.jpg 900w, https:\/\/www.ilgrandecolibri.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/05\/famiglia-bambini-solitudine-300x200.jpg 300w, https:\/\/www.ilgrandecolibri.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/05\/famiglia-bambini-solitudine-768x512.jpg 768w, https:\/\/www.ilgrandecolibri.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/05\/famiglia-bambini-solitudine-370x247.jpg 370w, https:\/\/www.ilgrandecolibri.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/05\/famiglia-bambini-solitudine-270x180.jpg 270w, https:\/\/www.ilgrandecolibri.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/05\/famiglia-bambini-solitudine-570x380.jpg 570w, https:\/\/www.ilgrandecolibri.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/05\/famiglia-bambini-solitudine-770x513.jpg 770w, https:\/\/www.ilgrandecolibri.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/05\/famiglia-bambini-solitudine-870x580.jpg 870w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 900px) 100vw, 900px\" \/>Chiara:<\/strong><\/em> Coming out to my mom did not go well. She told me that <strong>I would be alone<\/strong> and would not have children, the classic phrases of a conservative and deeply religious person. With my dad, on the other hand, it went better: he already suspected it since I was only talking about girls, and he supported me. Like Sveta, I too had a fall out with my maternal relatives, but my paternal relatives support me and love me unconditionally.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Have you ever been subjected to discrimination?<\/strong><\/p>\n<p><em><strong>Chiara:<\/strong><\/em> Yes, I\u2019ve suffered <strong>discrimination, beatings<\/strong>, and verbal violence for being a lesbian, especially when I didn\u2019t have a partner but even now that I do. I kept everything inside, I didn&#8217;t talk about it to anyone not at school, not at home. Over time I\u2019ve learned to let things slip through me. After all &#8220;<em>what does not kill, makes you stronger!<\/em>&#8221;<\/p>\n<p><em><strong>Sveta:<\/strong><\/em> Yes, I too have suffered discrimination, especially verbally, and lost many important friends because of it. Even though, to be honest, I suffer more discrimination <strong>as a Romani<\/strong> than being a lesbian.<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li><a href=\"https:\/\/www.ilgrandecolibri.com\/en\/im-black-gay-and-italian-and-im-ready-to-be-myself\/\">Read also:<strong> \u201cI\u2019m Black, Gay, and Italian \u2013 and I\u2019m Ready to Be Myself\u201d<\/strong><\/a><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p><strong>What do you think of the LGBTQIA community in Italy?<\/strong><\/p>\n<p><em><strong>Chiara:<\/strong><\/em> I think that sometimes the LGBTQIA world can be <strong>a sea of \u200b\u200bsharks<\/strong>, especially for bisexual people, towards whom I see contempt. I am convinced there is still a long way to go to break down certain prejudices, especially against the Roma community. What I appreciate, however, is the fact that you can lend a hand to so many people.<\/p>\n<p><em><strong>Sveta:<\/strong><\/em> I agree! The LGBTQIA world has helped and still helps a lot of people in difficulties. I\u2019ve met many people with whom I\u2019ve <strong>excellent friendships<\/strong>. What I don&#8217;t like is the fact that they discriminate against Roma people and use a lot of labels. I don&#8217;t think there are different worlds, just different people in one universe. I participate in the Pride Parade and sometimes go to clubs, I keep informed about what is happening around us, about the laws, homolesbobitransphobia, etc.<\/p>\n<p><strong><img decoding=\"async\" loading=\"lazy\" class=\"aligncenter wp-image-22981 size-full\" src=\"https:\/\/www.ilgrandecolibri.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/07\/bandiera-arcobaleno-lgbt-pantaloncini.jpg\" alt=\"bandiera arcobaleno lgbt pantaloncini\" width=\"900\" height=\"600\" srcset=\"https:\/\/www.ilgrandecolibri.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/07\/bandiera-arcobaleno-lgbt-pantaloncini.jpg 900w, https:\/\/www.ilgrandecolibri.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/07\/bandiera-arcobaleno-lgbt-pantaloncini-300x200.jpg 300w, https:\/\/www.ilgrandecolibri.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/07\/bandiera-arcobaleno-lgbt-pantaloncini-768x512.jpg 768w, https:\/\/www.ilgrandecolibri.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/07\/bandiera-arcobaleno-lgbt-pantaloncini-370x247.jpg 370w, https:\/\/www.ilgrandecolibri.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/07\/bandiera-arcobaleno-lgbt-pantaloncini-270x180.jpg 270w, https:\/\/www.ilgrandecolibri.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/07\/bandiera-arcobaleno-lgbt-pantaloncini-570x380.jpg 570w, https:\/\/www.ilgrandecolibri.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/07\/bandiera-arcobaleno-lgbt-pantaloncini-770x513.jpg 770w, https:\/\/www.ilgrandecolibri.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/07\/bandiera-arcobaleno-lgbt-pantaloncini-870x580.jpg 870w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 900px) 100vw, 900px\" \/>What would you suggest to young LGBTQIA Romani?<br \/>\n<\/strong><\/p>\n<p><em><strong>Sveta:<\/strong><\/em> I\u2019d advise Roma girls <strong>to come out<\/strong>: start with trusted people, and to leverage the LGBTQIA associations. If the family is very conservative and you feel in danger, it is better to think about finding a secondary solution.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Are there many LGBTQIA people in the Romani community?<\/strong><\/p>\n<p><em><strong>Sveta:<\/strong><\/em> Not many, but often they pretend to be heterosexual and hide. Of course, it all depends on the family, but most Roma people <strong>are against it<\/strong>. In my community, we have many out-of-the-closet LGBTQIA people who do not have problems: for them it is normal.<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li><a href=\"https:\/\/www.ilgrandecolibri.com\/en\/im-the-first-transgender-roma-woman-to-stand-for-election\/\">Read also:<strong> \u201cI\u2019m the First Trans Roma Woman to Run for Office in Romania\u201d<\/strong><\/a><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p><strong>How does it feel to be a minority within a minority?<\/strong><\/p>\n<p><em><strong>Sveta:<\/strong><\/em> For me, it is very difficult, because most of the Roma people do not accept me and I have to lie. While by the gadje [term for all non-Roma] I am not understood, because it is strange to see a Romani lesbian so <strong>they discriminate me for both things<\/strong> but mostly as Romn\u00ec. Often, when I volunteer in Roma camps, I have to lie and say that Chiara is just a friend, and I don&#8217;t tell the gadje that I am Romni: it happened I wasn&#8217;t let into clubs or bars, I was insulted or spit on, especially if I was wearing the traditional skirt. Is a skirt really enough to change people&#8217;s opinion of you?<\/p>\n<p><em><strong>Chiara:<\/strong><\/em> When she told me she was Romani, I exclaimed: \u201c<em>How cool!<\/em>\u201d I feel great to be with a Romni, but it&#8217;s painful to see people&#8217;s disgusted looks when they see us holding hands, especially if Sveta is wearing traditional clothing. In the Roma community -and in the whole world- it should not be assumed everyone is open-minded. In Sveta\u2019s community, I feel good, I feel they are like a second family. Instead, outside of it, <strong>sometimes I have to lie<\/strong>, especially to protect Sveta, and pretend to just be friends. Usually, when we realize the kind of people we have to deal with, we simply try to avoid them.<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: right;\"><strong>Ervin Bajrami<\/strong><br \/>\ntranslation by <strong>Barbara Burgio<\/strong><br \/>\n\u00a92021 Il Grande Colibr\u00ec<br \/>\nimages: Il Grande Colibr\u00ec \/ elaborations from\u00a0<a href=\"https:\/\/www.flickr.com\/photos\/simajr\/3689255631\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\" aria-label=\"Sisma Dimitric (si apre in una nuova scheda)\">Sisma Dimitric<\/a> (<a href=\"https:\/\/creativecommons.org\/licenses\/by\/2.0\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\" aria-label=\"CC BY 2.0 (si apre in una nuova scheda)\">CC BY 2.0<\/a>) \/ from\u00a0<a href=\"https:\/\/www.pexels.com\/photo\/person-holding-flag-close-up-photography-2496729\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">Allie Smith<\/a> (CC0)<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Sveta is 29 years old and lives in Chieri, Italy. Occasionally, she works as an online Russian teacher, volunteers at some Roma camps in Turin, and has started a fundraiser&#8230;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":65,"featured_media":29867,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0,"footnotes":""},"categories":[565,533,566,569],"tags":[6917,6912,6913,6911,6009,6914,6916,6915,6910],"aioseo_notices":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.ilgrandecolibri.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/30131"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.ilgrandecolibri.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.ilgrandecolibri.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.ilgrandecolibri.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/65"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.ilgrandecolibri.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=30131"}],"version-history":[{"count":3,"href":"https:\/\/www.ilgrandecolibri.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/30131\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":30134,"href":"https:\/\/www.ilgrandecolibri.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/30131\/revisions\/30134"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.ilgrandecolibri.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/29867"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.ilgrandecolibri.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=30131"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.ilgrandecolibri.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=30131"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.ilgrandecolibri.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=30131"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}