Islam started spreading out in the United Kingdom and other European countries a long time ago. But the major increase in the Muslim population was noticed in the ’60s and ’70s when a big crunch of expats came to the UK from South Asian countries. Today, the second and third generation of the same Muslim British community has grown into a real part of British society. Brought up with strict Muslim values and at the same time exposed to liberal Western views, the British Muslim society is considered hybrid by Khakan Munir Qureshi, a 49 years old British Muslim LGBTQ+ activist.
A fraught coming out
Born in a traditional British Muslim family, Khakan kept himself discrete in the first years of his life. With the fear of rejection and other negative consequences, it’s natural that one stays in the closet. Even in today’s date, the majority of the queer community prefers to stay silent about their sexuality, contrary to that Khakan built his inner strength to come out to his parents. They say Love gives you an eternal strength, which turned out to be true in Khakan’s case. He found his love at the age of 22. After a few years of relationship, he chose the path of being honest to his family exactly what his parents always preached him.
God cannot be everywhere, so he created “Mother” as a mother knows everything about her child. It was really hard for Khakan’s mother to accept the fact that her child was different. But a mother is supposed to embrace the truth about her children, and in Khakan’s case, she eventually did. Khakan was lucky enough to have both accepting parents. However, it wasn’t that easy as it sounds like. “Coming out was fraught,” Khakan says, but he had to choose one path. Either stay dishonest to his parents about himself, who loved him unconditionally or be honest and tell them what he really was. He opted for the second choice.
A place called home
Khakan describes the relationship with his partner who is 21 years older to him as interracial, interfaith, and intergenerational. But as they say “Love is Love” as it turns each difference into strength. They both love children but not sure if they will ever be able to broaden their family. Today, they both live together in a queer-friendly area of Birmingham, a place they call their home.
Britain has seen a rise in LGBTQ+ discriminatory incidents in recent years. Though there are same-sex marriages and the Equality Act 2010 safeguards people based on 9 identified characteristics, which includes sex and sexual orientation, according to Khakan one still has to find best ways to navigate through communities and neighborhoods as there remain places within the UK where it is not safe to live as an openly gay couple.
Gay British Muslims
Talking about his Islam in the UK, Khakan considers British Muslims as sub-divided into various categories such as orthodox, traditional, extreme, cultural, progressive, secular, and spiritual Muslims. But that is exactly how the overall Muslim community is evolving worldwide. Mecca, the holiest site in Islam, is governed by the strict Saudi regime, which bans homosexual and transsexual people from entering into its kingdom. Like thousands of other queer Muslims worldwide, Khakan also has to consider security measures before planning a trip to Mecca for pilgrimage; if not, this does not seem possible. However, Khakan has travelled to other Muslim countries such as Egypt, Tunisia, and Turkey with his partner.
Khakan is hopeful and confident about his future as a gay British Muslim. His organization “Finding a Voice” is a voluntary led, a multi-faith social support group for South Asian LGBTQ+ men and women aged 18+ who live in Birmingham and the surrounding areas. The group has contributed to “Gaysian Faces”, which is a queer anthropology photography project showcasing Asian LGBTQ+ faces all around the world. The group also mobilized to take part in London Pride 2017 and Birmingham Pride and organized the first South Asian LGBT+ Conference 2018 and the LGBTIQ+ Intersectionality and Islam Conference 2019. The group meets on every third Wednesday at the LGBT centre in Birmingham to continue with the unstoppable journey towards equality.
It is not sure how long will it take for the Muslim community to accept the emerging queer Muslim groups within. But the revolution which people like Khakan Qureshi are bringing will only bring positivity. Khakan is not only the hope for new Muslim queer generation but an example to follow. He stood for his reality when it was not even thinkable to talk about homosexuality in front of Muslim parents. Standing against stereotypes leads to beautiful destinations; Khakan’s life justifies that.
Sunny (Faisal Zia) (sunnyfzia@gmail.com)
©2019 Il Grande Colibrì
foto: ©Sukhdeep Singh / Il Grande Colibrì
